Your exam results do not define you
If you're getting your exam results today, or know someone who is, please feel free to share this with them. ESPECIALLY if they've got ADHD.
Here are some things I know to be true about exam results:
They aren't always right
I was as shocked as everybody else to find out I'd managed to get A's in my exams. My teacher literally asked the entire class if I'd cheated, because there was no way that should have been possible.
I felt like maybe I somehow did, because I'd managed to cram all of the information into my brain at the last minute. I knew I couldn't do coursework, so avoided subjects I liked, like English and Art, that involved this.
So when I got a B in my final A Level results, it felt like the world came crashing down. I was proved to be exactly as stupid as my teachers and clearly everybody else knew I was. I didn't get into my first choice university, and had randomly picked one I didn't want to go to as a back up.
Nearly everyone around me told me not to get a remark in case the grade went down to a C and I had no university to go to. Fortunately, one person believed in me, and insisted on it.
It went up by 14 marks, and I got into my first choice university. Apparently the examiner had missed out 2 pages of my exam. So if your results aren't what you're expecting, GET A REMARK. Trust yourself and your abilities.
2. They don't actually mean that much in real life
Yes, exam results can help you get into university. But I coach jaw-droppingly inspiring and successful business people, who have achieved extraordinary things, who didn't finish their ALevels.
Some of them have set up their own thriving businesses. Others have reached the dizzying heights of the corporate career ladder. Others have become famous because of their unique outlooks on the world.
University doesn't mean that much. I studied law, but like ALevels, I may as well have just turned up to an exam (which is pretty much what I did). The bits I did go to equipped me with approximately zero 'real life' skills (still scarred by my memory of trying to cook an omelette) or ability to get a job. I had no idea how to write a CV, how to decide which job to do or how to interview.
It felt like other people somehow had a manual to navigating 7 rounds of interviews, vacation schemes and training contracts, and I was just about managing to learn what 'jurisprudence' was. We had 500 pages of reading a week, and I rarely did any of it. I used Wikipedia to learn all of the cases, and my unique brain wiring to remember them all by linking them to songs.
About 5 years after graduating, I finally got a job in law. However, many people I worked with didn't have a law degree. Many of the top legal firms preferred people who hadn't studied law at university - you couldn't win!
Looking back, I probably would have had a much better time at my back-up university which included a year of work experience, because at least I would have come out of it with an understanding of how to use what I was teaching myself.
Ironically, doing 'well' in my exams prevented me from getting the help I needed, because doctors said I was fine because I had a law degree when I tried to get help for my ADHD. I had perfect grades, but my life still collapsed and fell apart.
3. It's better to do a job you will enjoy, than what you think you 'should' do
I do a job that probably didn't exist 5 years ago, which you need zero qualifications to do: an ADHD Coach. I spent years torturing myself over what job to do, feeling like I didn't fit in anywhere, but I didn't even KNOW I had ADHD.
You can only connect the dots looking backwards. Jobs like influencers, content creators and LinkedIn coaches didn't exist before. These are no less valid jobs just because they don't have a governing body. In fact, they are some of the most profitable, because not everybody is doing them.
There's more to life than money and fitting into a box. If you have ADHD, you may find fitting into a box virtually impossible, because our brains are motivated by what we're interested in. Trying to force us to study a subject we hate to do an exam we don't care about is pointless.
It was only later that I realised how I'd been conditioned at school to pick subjects I didn't enjoy, to do a job I didn't want to do, and live a life I didn't want to live. Once I decided to start living how I WANTED to live, I created a career for myself where I could thrive with my ADHD brain and haven't looked back since.
You will do the same. Whether you got 4 A*s in your exams or no results at all today, you will navigate the same path of shedding other people's expectations, until you get to the point where you get to choose what you spend your very limited time on this earth doing every day.
If you're unhappy with your results, I know it might feel like your life is falling apart - but it's really just beginning. There is SO MUCH MORE TO LIFE than these bits of paper.