How to become a 'successful' ADHD Coach
Lately, I've been asking people, 'who is the most successful person you know, and why? How did you measure that?'
For me, it's a friend of mine in Australia. Ever since I met her a few years ago, all she wanted to do was have a family - and she did. Now I see pictures of them all in her flower garden, growing vegetables, and she gets to do what she loves alongside it, taking photos. I measure success by happiness - doing what we set out to do.
That's it: it's not the people I know who've done TED Talks or written best-selling books or made millions of pounds.
I don't think 'success' objectively exists, especially when it comes to something like coaching, which is so inherently based on showing up for the people who want us to show up, and holding a space for them to put in the work to achieve their own versions of success. This is constantly changing, from day to day.
However, I do know that objectively, society says these things are markers of success in the area of work I'm in:
being fully booked with clients (and having a waiting list)
making 5/6/7 figure incomes
writing & publishing books
doing TED talks and keynote speeches
being a 'thought leader' and 'known' for your expertise
having lots of followers on social media
being featured in the press
most recently, having a 'Top Voice' badge on LinkedIn 😅
I have achieved some of these, as an ADHD workaholic with very little of a life - but it's taken me a very long time to realise that 'objective' measures of success do not equate to happiness. This is even more so if we have ADHD - we're very good at moving the goalposts and holding ourselves to higher and higher goals each time, with abstract notions like 'successful' that we can literally never tick off as complete - because there's always more.
What I would call successful is being able to control my own time and work, and to do something that helps people every day, which I enjoy. For me, success is being able to make an impact, and do things on my terms. Success is knowing that there is no end point, but enjoying the journey.
As an ADHD coach, success is being able to work with people who inspire me and who I feel I can help - which I'd say I'm meeting right now. I have a grand total of 3 1:1 coaching clients right now, and it's great (ADHD Works has about 80!). For me, this means I get to do something I love whilst also doing other things I love, like training new ADHD coaches & writing this!
I recently asked our Finance Manager to tell me what the minimum amount we could make through ADHD Works was each month to cover our costs, so we could have this as a financial goal: peace. There is no happiness to be found in constant chaos and stress, trying to hit arbitrary goals for no particular reason. Money doesn't buy happiness - and the more you grow, the more stress you have.
As we're training our ADHD coaches to train others on impulsivity and setting goals this week, here's my advice as someone who's ticked all the boxes, burned themselves out, and eventually figured things out along the way for anyone considering this career path:
1) Define what success means to you
The best ADHD coaches have invested in ADHD coaching for themselves, because it helps them to practice what they preach. Breaking down our visions into specific goals helps us to celebrate milestones as we achieve them, and remember what we're doing it all for.
I've trained many coaches who want to be 'successful', but instead of thinking about what society says is successful, define what this means for you. For me, one version I had for a long time was being able to coach with pink hair. At the moment, it's being able to go and talk in a school without worrying about charging them for it, to hopefully help children feel slightly less alone.
I'd think of this on a macro level, and then identify how ADHD coaching (or whatever else it is you want to do) specifically ties into this, because it's easy to get off track with our own ideas of 'success'. Defining what ADHD coaching actually means to you is just as important - writing a book or posting on social media is not the same thing.
Ask yourself what makes this 'successful' - for many of us who want to help people, we feel like it's only valid when we are paid, for example - but does this have to be the case? People often ask me how much money coaches make, and my answer is always the same: it's up to them. I know coaches who charge thousands and others who charge nothing - it all comes down to what you want out of your life.
Once you have this clear, then you can work backwards to set smaller goals. Being as specific as possible, and tying this to what drives you is key, because this is what will keep you going. It might change over time and turn into things like doing talks or writing books, but if you want to be an ADHD coach right now, figure out why coaching.
This 'success' often relates to things like being 'stable' and 'secure', but setting realistic goals you can know when you have achieved enables you to actually keep going. None of us will ever reach a magical point of 'stability' - this is a mindset, but you can set yourself priorities to do first that will help you to trust in yourself.
2) Remember that things do not happen overnight - they take a LOT of effort
It took me probably about 6 months to get 10 independent coaching clients, which was my first goal and focus when setting up ADHD Works. Alongside this, I hustled: I did modelling, I wrote books, I wrote for a legal marketing company, I worked with other coaches, and had a million calls with very kind people who were willing to talk to me about ADHD in their workplace. This was all before I'd even finished my 'official' ADHD coaching training!
However, a huge part of why I did this was because I'd 'thrown my backpack over the wall' - I'd paid all of my savings for that training, and had quit my job. This is why the ADHD Works' Coaching Course isn't free, because financial investment is a powerful commitment to actually doing the work. If I'd stayed in my law job, I might have done it on the side a little bit, but it would have been much harder to push myself out of my comfort zone.
This is also why the course is 6 weeks long - anybody can do professional training, but actually working in that job is very different. I know someone coming out of a 3 year counselling qualification who has been taught nothing about introductory calls, marketing, or managing clients - theoretical knowledge is very different to doing the job. If you can't get any clients, then you can't put your learning into practice. If you build up training for months or even years, pushing yourself into the territory of the unknown - which is really the only way you learn, by allowing yourself to make your own mistakes - will be even harder.
We push people to get started with coaching as soon as they start the course, because it's much better to learn, practice, and return to the material (which is recorded & available anytime), than try to memorise it all and never use it. I incorporated coaching throughout the course itself, with practice sessions within lessons, because having coaching ourselves is how we can have real empathy for the client - whether we have ADHD or not.
Social media can make it look like everybody is 'succeeding' (whatever that means) except you, but the reality is that things just take a really long time for literally everybody. Letting go of your ego and doing the work to make your success a reality in any way you can, such as by finding alternative sources of income, do not make you a failure - they make you secure.
Trying, failing, and trying again is how you get to that level of 'success' - and there is no person or course or company that you can pay to take away this discomfort and vulnerability. It's just part of the job, but that's also what makes it so wonderful, because we're growing alongside the people we get to help.
3) 'Success' comes from putting yourself out there - again and again and again
Social media is easily held up as an example of who's 'successful' or not, but ADHD coaching is not the same as posting on social media. Your ability to be a 'good' coach does not reflect your ability to post a 15 second video or have people follow you. At ADHD Works, some of our busiest 'in house' coaches are those who don't even use social media at all - it is not a necessity.
You do not have to run your own coaching business to be 'successful' as a coach. Take it from me: it's bloody exhausting. Running the social media, marketing, HR, scheduling, training, support and more for yourself (and potentially even more people) is incredibly tiring.
You can get coaching clients by 'putting yourself out there' - which ultimately means putting yourself in situations where you may feel vulnerable and exposed to potential rejection. Maybe this is by applying to a coaching agency or for a job as an ADHD coach, or maybe it's simply by telling someone that you 'are' an ADHD coach when they ask what you do. It's the vulnerability of actually following up discovery calls and talking about money, asking for feedback, taking responsibility and reviewing what lessons you can learn for next time. It's not particularly glamorous, but it does work.
I strongly recommend using 'real life' business cards and pro-actively asking for conversations with people who are related to what you define as 'success', or looking for opportunities where not everybody is talking about ADHD. For example, by putting flyers up in your local GP surgery, or asking your child's school for a conversation about what kind of ADHD support is available.
It's these little steps, far more so than what we see online, like making a website or posting on social media into the vortex of 'what is ADHD' posts, that have the biggest impact. The scariest things are usually the biggest signs of what you need to do next - and this comes down to you.
No one can give you a 10 step plan to marketing success, because each of us have our own unique experiences and ideas of success that we're following. My advice is to do one thing that scares you every day, and to talk to individuals instead of shouting into the void.
4) Having a community is key
As ADHD Works has grown, I've learned how rare true loyalty, friendship, trust, and community really is.
My phone and inbox is full with daily messages from people (from 'friends' to strangers) asking for stuff: introductions, referrals, coaching, advice, a shout out, a chat about how they can do XYZ, to talk to their friend who's struggling at work, for a discount, support, signposting to a diagnosis, help with Access to Work - the list goes on and on and on.
As a coach, I've found it hard to have relationships without fulfilling a 'helper' role, yet the emotional toll of ADHD coaching requires us to have a good support network ourselves.
When I quit my job to become an ADHD Coach, most people I told said it was a terrible idea - and those same people are the ones who now want advice. When we go after 'success', this can make other people feel uncomfortable and project their own insecurities onto us.
Having a community is absolutely key to pursuing any kind of 'success' in your life, because happiness means nothing if you have nobody to share it with. This is why I built the ADHD coaching course in the first place, because I needed support from people who understood the realities of ADHD Coaching, and how we did things at ADHD Works.
This is also why our coaching course emphasises community so strongly: the connections people make in this course stay with them forever. As you finish doing any course or start any new career, having people who are in the same boat as you, who support you, and can share their learnings and tips with you, is absolutely critical. Our ADHD Works Coaching Community gives past and present coach students a space to check in every day, support each other, and organise regular meet ups.
In every single cohort we have, communities emerge of people that genuinely trust and celebrate each other, with a sense of belonging and acceptance that is far more valuable than any kind of objective measure of 'success'. These people aren't each other's competitors: they are each other's cheerleaders.
There's enough people desperately in need of support for ADHD to go around, and I count myself as a personal cheerleader of every single ADHD coach out there - this world needs all the support it can get.
Personally, I was exceptionally lucky to have found Beth Lewis very early on, who has provided this unconditional friendship and support. The ADHD Works at Work book is dedicated to Beth, because without her, this company literally wouldn't exist. These days, we have a brilliant team we can share this with further, not to mention coaches who work with us and the people we train on the course, but this ultimately would mean nothing if it was just me.
5) Enjoy it!
Ultimately, my best advice for anyone looking to be a 'successful' ADHD coach is to remember why you're doing it (or want to) in the first place, and to enjoy it. Just like we're 'detectives' for our clients, helping them to understand what kind of things do and don't work for their brains, we can do the same for ourselves, every single day.
Being present with the people we're speaking to, and using the skills and knowledge on a day to day basis to help anybody we may come across, is as valid a 'success' as having 100 clients paying you money. The ability to make someone feel seen, to feel that they belong, and to understand themselves a little better, is a gift that we are very lucky to be able to have.
I believe that every day I get to use these skills is a success - and I hope you feel the same way. You get to decide what standards to hold yourself to, but the kinder you can be on yourself, the more 'success' you'll have.